Reminders
by unmissingpiece
Summary: Lily always had beautiful hair. One-shot.


Petunia is just finishing with dinner, methodically chopping through carrots and peas and meat for the stew she's making. Admittedly, the boy's absence has made this task much more difficult for her and for a second she almost mourns his quiet presence. But her thoughts swerve back to a certain red haired freak, and she begins bitterly reflecting on how much money taking the boy to the barber has cost. It seems that not a day went by without Lily entering her thoughts, and with it a powerful mix of anger, hatred and regret.

The door bursts open with a loud bang. Vernon and the boy have returned. She observes as he rushes forward, grasping Harry by the scruff of his neck and shoving him roughly toward the kitchen.

"What are you doing, just standing around? Set the table!"

She watches with a sort of satisfaction as the little freak rushes to comply, feeling the beginnings of a headache. Exiting the kitchen, she calls Dudley down for his meal.

When they are all seated, she skillfully tunes Vernon out as as he talks angrily about his day from work, shouting about incompetent workers and issues at the bank in between large mouthfuls. Dudley rakes his nails on her arm and screeches for more and the pain in her head sharpens. She quickly dumps scoops some of the (meagre) food intended for the boy and dumps it on the plate of her son to mollify him, not liking the look that Harry gives her. Not quite resentful, just sad. She picks at her own food, eating little.

The rest of the meal passes with little note. Her hands hesitate over the bottle of pills the doctor had given her, and fling the bottle away in a moment of perceived strength. She refuses to accept the fact that she's depressed. There's nothing wrong with her. She's a normal wife in a normal family, where there's no cupboard-dwelling freak and no alcoholic husband.

It is after, when the boy is washing the dishes, that she takes note of his hair. Dark, messy, and completely unchanged despite just being cut, but she can't help notice how much they suit his face. How much they suit Lily's eyes.

Lily had always had beautiful hair.

A haze of anger blooms over her as she snatches the kitchen scissors. A terrified squeak escapes from the boy as she grabs him by his hair and steers him into a washroom without warning.

"Look at you!" She shouts, shaking him in front of the mirror. "Disgusting, ugly thing! No one could ever love you!"

Tears begin to leak from his haunting eyes, sending watery little tracks down his cheeks, angering her more.

"Please! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" he blubbers.

"Stop crying! Stay still, will you? I'm tired of you coming back from the barber's looking just as horrid as before. " she snaps.

She takes a hold of his hair and crudely hacks it off close to his scalp, leaving him nearly bald, with odd pieces sticking out. She keeps only his fringe to cover his scar.

She doesn't need another reminder of Lily.

When it is done, she sends him back to the kitchen to finish the dishes. There's red fingerprints all around his face from where she grabbed him that hopefully won't turn into bruises. She can hear Dudley clamoring down the steps, no doubt looking for more food, before discovering Harry. A sharp giggle bursts out and she can hear her nephew being slammed against the kitchen counter. Fresh taunts ring through the air, pain and blood and tears. Vernon walks into the room to investigate, and simply smirks at the scene unfolding.

_Good_, she thinks. No child of hers should ever feel ugly. Never second best to a _freak_.

Her twisted satisfaction carries her through the night, and there's no monsters to be found screaming in her dreams.

The next day, she unlocks his cupboard to unveil a nasty surprise. The boy stumbles out of his closet, his hair all grown back. Gasping, she pulls her hand back and slaps him as hard as she can, sending him crashing to the floor.

"Vernon!" she shouts, near hysterically. "Come quick!"

"Now listen, you little freak," she hisses, as Vernon thunders down the stairs. "Don't even think about getting any food today."

The clock reads a quarter to 8. No, she couldn't do anything now. If he came to school red-eyed again, the teachers would no doubt be suspicious.

"I'll let your uncle deal with you tonight," she hisses pointedly in his ear.

"What is it, Petunia? Has anything-" He breaks off, having spotted Harry.

"What's this?" Vernon snarls at Harry. "HOW DARE YOU? I WON'T HAVE YOU INFEST THE HOUSE WITH YOUR FREAKISHNESS, YOU LITTLE BRAT! I- J-JUST- GET OUT!"

The boy stumbles shakily out of the door, propelled by a shove from his uncle and followed by Dudley's laugh. He trips on one of the steps and scrapes his knee, leaving a small track of red. His knapsack quickly follows. With his lip quivering, he picks himself up and scutters off to school and Petunia can't help but notice his quiet determination. How much of Lily he has with him. How he's beaten, insecure, and quiet, but not yet broken.

When the boy returns from school, Petunia sends him back to his cupboard to await his uncle, trying to ignore how he is visibly shaking in fear. Yesterday's angry breakdown had faded away, and she was left with the faint stirrings of guilt. But when Uncle Vernon comes after Harry, she knows there isn't much she can do. She gave up her say in this household when she insisted they take Harry in.

The resentment returns with this, allowing her to tune out Harry's cries and Vernon's shouts. It's because of _him _that their marriage is strained, that her home is fractured, and her life is stressed.

He was a living reminder of what she'd always wanted. What she could never have.

Somewhere, somehow, she can hear Lily crying for her son.

* * *

My first attempt at fan fiction. I hope that wasn't overly dramatic or depressing. :/  
Please let me know what you think! Reviews are always welcome!


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